Contingent Read online

  When Landon was out of the kitchen, I marched over to Loren, Pulling on her elbow, I brought her away from the other servants and into the corner. “How do you know Landon?”

  “Oh, sweetie. I always have my eyes on you.”

  “Lo!”

  “Well, Gus told me he took you out, so I’ve been keeping an eye on him. We were worried about you since you and Peyton split. And since you didn’t tell me about the date, I figured I wouldn’t say anything.”

  “It wasn’t a date.”

  “Baby girl, he seemed smitten when he came over here to say goodbye.”

  “I know. And I want to feel the same way, but my head is still clouded with all the Peyton crap.”

  Loren patted her hand on my shoulder. “You need to take it one day at time.”

  Most of the guests had cleared out when I made my way through the house to pick up empty glasses and clear out any garbage. I had made a full lap without seeing Devon or Haas when strong arms dug into my upper arm, tugging me towards a door. I didn’t need to look at the person to know who it was.

  My body knew.

  My skin burned, my chest ached, and deep down in my soul I wanted to punch him in the balls for approaching me yet again.

  Shoving me toward the wine cellar, he slammed the door behind him. “We need to talk,” Haas spoke through gritted teeth.

  “Ugh! Seriously, this is like a soap opera. No. We. Don’t. I have nothing to say to you.” I moved to leave, but he stepped in front of me.

  “I need to explain what happened.”

  “You know what? You’re right, I do need an explanation. I need to know why you fucked me just a month ago and now you’re engaged to that wench. You are an engaged man, Haas. This isn’t appropriate and I doubt your fiancée would approve of you being locked away in a tight room with someone you used to fuck.” I chuckled. “Recently fucked.”

  “Is that all I was to you? Someone you fucked?” Haas took another step closer.

  “Don’t put words in my mouth, buddy. You’re the one who said you’d had your fill.” I stepped back with my hands in the air. “You’re the one who’s getting married.”

  “It’s complicated.” He ran his hands through his hair.

  “So I’ve heard. But it still doesn’t change the fact that your wife-to-be is in the next room.”

  “I didn’t ask her to ma—”

  “I. Don’t. Care. I don’t care whether you got down on one knee and decorated a whole bathroom with roses and candles for her or if you had it written across the goddamn sky. I don’t give two flying fucks, Haas.” My eyes began to glass over.

  “Lynn . . .”

  He closed the space between us. The strong attitude and stance I had was slowly leaving my body. I wanted to cry, beg and scream at him to stay with me, but I wouldn’t. He didn’t deserve my hurt. Not anymore.

  “I miss you,” he whispered into my ear. I held my breath, avoiding his masculine scent that was now just a memory in my head.

  “She’s wearing my ring,” I said, my voice trembling.

  “I had no choice.”

  “Fuck you. You’re a coward!”

  “I need to see you.”

  “Are you fucking insane?” I pulled away from him. “You’re getting married. I don’t want to be your side piece, your mistress, your whatever.”

  “And Landon? Do you want to be his something?”

  I shook my head in disbelief. We were at his engagement party. “I’m not committed to anyone. If I want to see Landon, I will.”

  His hands traced down my jaw, and his fingertips slid across my lips. “You will always belong to me, Lynn. No other man will replace that. Just like no other woman will replace you.”

  I shoved him. “I don’t belong to you anymore, Haas. It may take a while, but eventually, someone else will own my heart, my love.” My hand gripped the door handle. “And fix your pants. You don’t want your fiancée to notice you’re walking around hard after talking to me.”

  Braelynn

  The weekend from hell was now in the past.

  Dropping my overnight bag next to the couch, I crashed on top of the decorative pillows. My heart and mind still hadn’t processed the engagement. After I’d left Mrs. Cunningham’s guest house, I buried my emotions.

  Reaching into the back pocket of my skinny jeans, I pulled out my cell phone. I opened my text messages.

  Peyton Haas: I don’t want you seeing Landon.

  I didn’t reply. Instead, I read it repeatedly. Was he home when he sent it? Was he with her? Was she in bed with him? My mind filled with painful thoughts. Every thought was consuming, but I wouldn’t analyze the situation until I had enough Talenti to help numb the pain.

  Landon had left a voicemail, but I didn’t have it in me to call him either. My heart was on a roller coaster of despair.

  “Gus?” I called out into the house. When he didn’t respond, I knew I was alone. Kicking my feet off the sectional, I tossed my shoes to the corner and strolled into the kitchen.

  Reheating Gus’s leftover Chinese food, I slid the bar stool back and decided to call Kennedy. The phone rang once before she answered.

  “Geez, Braelynn,” she complained.

  “Yes, Kennedy?” I sang into the phone.

  “I’ve only been trying to call you all day.”

  Twirling the Lo Mein on my fork, I shoved it in my mouth. “I had my phone on silent.”

  “Oh! You had me worried. I was afraid you’d decided to hang Devon off of your shower rod.” She laughed.

  “Do you think before you speak?”

  “What?” Kennedy laughed louder. “Gossip flies around here. I was informed that you worked Devon and Peyton’s engagement party, so when you didn’t answer, I thought for sure you were killing the bitch.”

  Kennedy was the only one who could make me laugh at the fact that Devon and Peyton were engaged.

  “I thought about it a couple of times.” I chuckled. “The bearded clam was wearing the engagement ring he had given me.”

  “No! What a fucking douche! But that doesn’t sound like Peyton. He has enough money, why wouldn’t he buy her a different one?” Kennedy asked. “Did you deck her? Please, Lynnie, if you didn’t kill her, please tell me you used the Krav Maga and CrossFit training to lay the bitch out.”

  I laughed, telling her that, surprisingly, Devon had kept her distance from me.

  “We should break into her hotel room and put Nair in her shampoo.”

  “What are we, fifteen? I’m not breaking into her hotel room. Besides, I doubt she’s staying in a hotel. I’m sure she’s sleeping on my side of the bed.”

  “I got it!” she screeched.

  “No, Kenn, whatever it is, I’m not getting in trouble for her. To be honest, the only thing I really want to do is cunt punch the bitch so she can’t fuck him.”

  “Is he that good in bed?” she whispered.

  “Okay. And with that, I’m letting you go now.” I laughed.

  “Come on, Lynnie. One day you’ll have to spill the dirt on your master,” her voice sang.

  I knew I should have never told her about what Haas and I did in the playroom. “Well, my love, it won’t be anytime soon.”

  “But you’re okay, right?” Kennedy dropped the joking tone in her voice and asked the question I could tell she wanted to ask all along.

  “I’m going to take a long shower, overanalyze it a million different times, eat some Talenti, and most definitely cry. But I’ll be all right.” Admitting my plan brought tears to my eyes.

  “I’m a phone call away.”

  I sat on the floor of the tub in the shower until the water ran cold. My eyes were red and puffy when I looked at myself in the mirror. Two pints of empty ice cream containers were tossed in the garbage bin, and I had processed the news of their engagement a million times. My heart was empty and hurt. I realized that Peyton Haas was a coward, a liar, and the devil. From the second I met him at Quay, I knew getting involved with a ma
n like him would only be bad news. Falling in love with him would crush my heart.

  But I couldn’t stop myself.

  His love was like a tornado to my heart; there was very little warming before it touched down and annihilated everything it touched.

  The clock on my bedside said it was after midnight. I had to work in the morning, but sleep wasn’t coming. Tossing and turning, I felt both hot and cold. My body was exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t shut up as I replayed the last year and a half of my life over and over. Peyton had been a prominent factor in it; he was my crutch. My remedy. I had become dependent on him. After rehab, I’d clutched on to something that was familiar, someone I knew would protect me. From the very beginning, there was something between us that I couldn’t stay away from.

  “Ugh!”

  I brought the covers over my head. I hated this power he had over me. This control over my feelings that made me unable to think of anything but him. He had moved on. It was time I did the same.

  Needing to let him be a part of my past, I reached for my phone. I had promised Landon that I would see him again, and if I was ever going to mend the hole in my heart, I needed to move on. Landon was charming, extremely sexy and unlike Peyton, he was interested in me.

  He had left me a voicemail asking me to call him. Ready to move on, but not quite brave enough. I sent Landon a text message instead of calling him.

  Me: Hi.

  The second I hit send my heart began to flutter. My eyes stayed glued to the screen on my phone as I waited for him to respond. It felt like an hour had passed before his message chimed in.

  Landon: I thought you were ignoring me again.

  Me: No, I misplaced my phone, sorry. Is this a bad time?

  Landon: It’s never a bad time.

  I couldn’t help but smile.

  Me: Are you this charming with all the girls?

  Landon: Only you. ;)

  The wink had me envisioning his dimple that appeared when he smiled.

  Me: Sure . . .

  I pouted as I thought about how many other women he had used that line on.

  Landon: How was the rest of your weekend?

  Me: Good. Loren and I have a sweet tooth. There was so much chocolate, I’m surprised we didn’t go into diabetic shock.

  Landon: Beside chocolate, what else do you like?

  I fluffed the pillow under my head.

  Me: That’s two questions in a row. If we’re playing the question game, it’s my turn.

  Landon: Fine. Your turn.

  Me: Oh crap . . . I don’t have a question . . . Wait . . . Favorite dessert?

  Landon: Cheesecake.

  “Cheesecake. I can work with that,” I whispered. I wouldn’t say cheesecake was high on my list of desserts unless it was Junior’s Cheesecake.

  Me: Good choice, especially if it’s Junior’s Cheesecake.

  Landon: I’ve never had Junior’s.

  “Seriously!” I giggled. I bit my lip to contain my glee. Feeling like a high school girl who was talking to a boy past her bedtime, I typed out my next text message.

  Me: Do you live under a rock? They have the best cheesecake in the city!

  Landon: So I’ve heard.

  Landon: What are you doing Tuesday night?

  Me: Most likely working.

  Landon: How about I take you to dinner?

  Me: That’s two questions :) But yes, Tuesday after 7PM works.

  Me: I should get to bed. I have work in the morning.

  Landon: Goodnight. Sweet Dreams ;)

  Placing my phone back on the nightstand, I fixed my head on the soft pillow. Landon had distracted me long enough that sleep had finally found me.

  I woke up the next morning with a craving for cheesecake.

  With a last minute staff meeting that I couldn’t get out of, I’d asked Landon to pick me up at work.

  The office door closed behind me and I was greeted with his carefree smile. Landon stood in front of his rental car with his hands shoved into his jeans, and a black T-shirt stretched across his muscular chest. The butterflies flapped their wings in my stomach as I walked towards him. In my peripheral, I noticed Thomas. Though I had refused his services multiple times, he was still parked in the same spot he had been when I stepped out to get a salad at lunch. I ignored him and walked towards Landon, wrapping my arms around him. Childish, yes, but I hoped Thomas reported this back to his boss.

  “You hungry?” Landon asked.

  “Starving.”

  Landon held the door opened for me and I climbed into the seat of his car. The sun had begun to lower in the horizon and hues of orange colored the sky. I kept myself busy looking out the window as we began to drive towards the Manhattan traffic.

  “Do you like tapas?” He looked over at me and smiled as he took my hand.

  “Love them.” I smiled back at him.

  A few minutes later, the car began to slow down before it came to a complete stop. “This place has the best sangria and tapas. It’s a hole in the wall, but it’s worth it.” I looked out to the tiny sign that read Sangria and Tapas. Straight to the point.

  Walking out of the parking deck, I noticed we were around the corner from my job. I looked at Landon, puzzled that he had chosen to drive when we could have walked. His hands rested on my lower back as he guided me. Liking his touch on my skin, it distracted the thoughts of asking him anything.

  By hole in the wall, he really meant a door in the wall. Landon led me down a small set of stairs that led into a tiny restaurant that had a total of ten tables. The walls were painted a wine color, the lighting was low, and tea candles were lit on the linen-covered tables. The hostess, who was also the waitress, walked us to a table in the back of the restaurant.

  “Would you like anything to drink? Sangria?” she asked.

  “Uh . . .” Landon looked at the waitress then back at me.

  “If you’d like some, be my guest.”

  “No, water with a lemon is fine,” Landon said to the waitress before looking over at me again. I ducked my head into the menu, avoiding his charming eyes. I was digging my own grave.

  I had never dated. Not like adults usually do. School had always been my priority. Then I met Peyton, and the rest was history. Our relationship hadn’t been like most; we didn’t get to know each other first. We had never dated, and when we weren’t screwing each other we were fighting. Peyton and I had fallen into an unusual relationship, so dating was new to me.

  And I was beginning to like it.

  Dinner flew by as we chatted back and forth. Landon was curious to know everything about me. He asked what I did at work and how I managed to work almost eighty hours a week, every week. There wasn’t a dull moment between us. But when the waiter placed the dessert in front of me, I began to compare Landon to Haas. I don’t know if it was because Haas was a lawyer and knew what my day consisted of. I couldn’t stop my mind from going there. Wondering if Haas would knock on my door again, didn’t help either. From there my mind began to grow a ‘Con’s List’ for Landon. There wasn’t that spark between us, not like the one I was accustomed to. His eyes didn’t take my breath away; his touch didn’t make my skin come to life. It wasn’t Landon’s fault. I knew that.

  My heart still belonged to the asshole.

  After Landon had paid for dinner, he drove me straight home. I was exhausted from the workday and he had practice early in the morning. The drive through Manhattan was quiet; my heart began to speed up, wondering if Haas was outside my house waiting for me to come home.

  Like before, Landon was a complete gentleman walking me to my door. He didn’t press the issue of kissing me goodnight or asking me to come in. Instead, he pressed his lips to my forehead and we made plans to see each other Saturday night.

  I closed the door behind and waited. Would Haas show up like he did last time? When five minutes had passed, I sat on the couch with the TV on waiting for him to knock, waiting like a hopeful fool.

  By two in the morning,
there was no sign of Haas. He was engaged and what I did with my love life he seemed to no longer show an interest in. Drained I walked to my bedroom, peeled my clothes off my body, and crawled into bed. Plugging my phone into the charger on my nightstand, I saw I had a missed text message from Landon.

  Landon: Sweet dreams, I’ll you Saturday.

  Why couldn’t I make it work with him? Clearly he was a good guy who was interested in me.

  Because Peyton owns you. Burying my head in the pillow, I held my eyes shut.

  Sleep never came.

  Every noise I heard, I thought it was Haas banging on the door. When my alarm beeped Wednesday morning, my body was weary. Work dragged. Landon texted me throughout the day, but I never replied. I couldn’t shake the funk. My mind yelled at me for wanting him and then yelled at me for being weak when he was around me.

  Why would he come? He was engaged. And I wasn’t his first choice.

  I skipped the gym and headed straight home where a pint of ice cream and hot shower waited for me. They say it takes half of the time you were with a person to get over them. I was with Peyton for a year so it would take six months to get over him. It had been four months since he left and my heart ached like it was just yesterday when he walked out my door.

  Two more months of hell was all I had to endure.

  Braelynn

  Thursday night Gus was getting ready to go out when I pushed the front door open. I had worked late organizing briefs for court. Salsa music blasted from the surround sound he had installed in our living room, which didn’t help my migraine. I walked over lowering the song to a more tolerable sound.

  “Baby Girl?” Gus shouted from his room.

  “Yeah, it’s me.” I walked to the kitchen and popped the freezer door open. Yes, it was the second night in a row I was having ice cream for dinner.

  Gus jogged down the hallway towards the kitchen. “Jon is picking me up in ten. We’re heading to this cute little lounge in SoHo. Want to come with?”

  “Not this time, Gussy. I didn’t sleep well last night and I just want to eat my ice cream and sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.”