Contingent Read online

  “I’m going to make you come,” he whispered, walking back to where I was. He had a variety of toys secured in his hand. “You’ll beg me to stop but I won’t. I want to see your eyes roll to the back of your head, Lynn. I want you trembling and satisfied. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, Haas.” I moaned. His words did things to me. They changed who I was. In that room, I submitted to him.

  His fingertips slid down my stomach, past my apex and to my core. His fingers spread my lips as he admired my pussy. “This will always be mine,” he muttered.

  “Yours.” I agreed.

  The pad of his thumb pressed on my clit as his other finger entered deep inside me. His breath grew heavy as he shoved inside me, back and forth. He added a second finger and I began to moan, my arousal coating his fingers. He wasn’t the same Haas I had the night before. His mission was to have me numb, trembling with satisfaction and he was going to obtain it. Once I was numb, sore, and fully satisfied, every pore in my body sang a blissful tune and my fatigued body couldn’t take any more. Peyton cradled me in his arms, his lips grazing the top of my head as he walked out of the playroom and into his bedroom. I pulled the covers over my body, falling asleep instantly.

  Rays of sun shone on my face, warming my skin. My arms stretched above my head, and my toes curled under the covers as my body continued to recover from the night before. Turning on my side, I peeled my eyes open to greet Peyton, but to my surprise, he was gone. Rather, his side of the bed had not been touched. His sham pillows were still in the same place they had been the previous day. I kicked off the comforter, tossing my legs over the bed. I pushed my arms into the sleeves of my robe and went in search of him.

  The master shower had been recently used, I noticed. The glass doors still had droplets of water clinging to them. I marched to his office looking for him—nothing. He wasn’t in there. He wasn’t in the playroom, the kitchen, not anywhere. Panic began to rush through me. He had never left the house without a goodbye.

  I ran down the hallway, opening every unused guest bedroom door. My heart sank deep in my chest when I opened the last bedroom door. The bed was unmade and Peyton’s clothes from the previous day tossed in the hamper. He had chosen not to sleep with me. Was this his punishment because I’d interviewed for another job? Was it because I’d refused to move in with him? Was it because I’d said no to his proposal?

  I hopped in the shower, dressed for work and met Thomas downstairs.

  “Ms. Wolf, Mr. Haas would like for me to drive you this morning.”

  “I thought we agreed to push back your service until the sun was down.”

  “I know, Ms. Wolf, but Mr. Haas insisted that I revert back to our original agreement.” He pulled open the town car door.

  I didn’t argue further.

  My foot shook against the dark carpet as Thomas drove. Something was off, something with Peyton was wrong, and he was keeping me in the dark. By the time the elevator opened to PH Esquire I had the whole argument played out in my head. I planned on marching straight into his office and demanding to know what the fuck had crawled up his ass. Why was he punishing me this way?

  I ignored Melissa as I stormed into his office.

  Empty.

  My fists balled at my sides. I spun around and nearly collided with Melissa. “Where is he?”

  Her eyes darted back and forth. “I . . . I don’t know. I was going to ask you the same thing. I had to reschedule all his meetings because he won’t answer my calls.”

  Exasperated, I walked past her and headed straight for my office. I logged on to my computer, ignoring Peyton’s childish attitude, and began my day. He would eventually come into work. It was his firm; he couldn’t avoid it forever.

  By noon, even my own breathing annoyed me. Still there was no news from Peyton and every person who passed by his office looked over at me when they noticed he wasn’t in there.

  My office phone rang and I jumped with fright. Lacing my hands around the receiver, I brought it to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Uh, I think you’re supposed to answer the phone a little more professionally, Lynnie?”

  “Kennedy?”

  “Hi, girlie!” She laughed.

  “Oh my god, Kennedy, where are you?” Kennedy had married Caleb six weeks ago and had decided to put her career on a hold while she and her husband traveled the world for their honeymoon.

  “We just landed at JFK. I tried your cell a couple of times, but you didn’t answer.”

  I held the phone between my shoulder and cheek as I dug through my purse. Three missed calls from Kennedy and none from Peyton.

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m home. Caleb and I are going to meet with the contractors today about the house, and then I’ll swing by?”

  Kennedy had taken a full one-eighty since becoming Mrs. Garretson. She had taken some much needed time off to enjoy her new husband, and had even agreed to move out of New York City to a dream home she and Caleb had found. The old Kennedy would have thrown a fit about not working, and the hour commute she had agreed to made me laugh. It was a new Kennedy, all right, and one I liked very much. Though she was changing, the smile she had on her face was worth it. And Caleb only wanted to shower her with love.

  “Kenn, you don’t have to worry about me. You must be jet lagged. Go home and rest up. We can catch up later this week.”

  “God, Lynnie, I’ve missed you.”

  “Me too, love.”

  I hung up with Kennedy. In better spirits, I placed the phone back on my desk and continued working. I didn’t bother leaving for lunch. If Peyton planned on coming to work, he’d have to face me one way or another.

  At three in the afternoon, my cell phone rang with an unfamiliar number. My mind wandered to the possibility of Peyton being hurt. My hands shook as I answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, may I please speak to Braelynn Wolf?”

  “Speaking.”

  “Hi, Ms. Wolf. This is Carla with the District Attorney’s office.”

  “Hi, Carla.”

  “I’m pleased to inform you that everything has checked out and we would like to offer you the position to join our team. A formal letter with all the details you’ll need will be mailed to your home today.”

  I closed my eyes and listened to her speak. It was my dream job calling, yet I felt a pang of guilt for the excitement that consumed me. Carla continued, explaining that I would have to leave my job as soon as possible to avoid any possible conflict of interest. As she spoke, I made a quick list of the pros and cons and the only point against was that Peyton’s feelings were hurt. But so were mine. He had left me in the dark, avoiding me like a child who didn’t get his way. We were supposed to discuss this. We were supposed to talk like adults, but instead he’d closed me out.

  “Everything sounds great, Carla. I’ll stop by your office today to have all the paperwork filled out.”

  Peyton wanted to be selfish? Well, I planned on taking a play from his book and returning the favor.

  Braelynn

  Peyton never showed up to work, and he wasn’t home when I arrived that evening. I sat on the bar stool, facing the foyer and watching the elevator door until midnight. When my body was aching and begging for sleep, I crawled into bed then tossed and turned until I fell asleep.

  Like the previous morning, the other side of the bed—Peyton’s side—was empty. The shower had been used and the guest bedroom had been used again.

  Coward.

  It was the only way to describe how I felt about him. I rested my lower back against the countertop as the coffee machine brewed my morning coffee. Since I’d accepted the job with the DA, I couldn’t go back to PH Esquire. I took my coffee with me and sat at the island. I pulled my laptop from my tote bag and typed out my formal resignation letter for PH Esquire. I made sure to copy the Human Resources Department and Peyton’s work email before I clicked the send button.

  I spent the entire day at his house, waiting
to see if he would come home for lunch or to just check in. He never showed. Never called. I replayed the past week in my head. What had happened between us? Yes, I’d interviewed for my dream job, a job I wasn’t even sure I would get, but I never imagined that it would affect him. Not like this. And even though I didn’t want to move in with him, I was still there every single day.

  Was this his last straw because I didn’t agree to marry him?

  All day I waited at his house, going over every detail of our relationship in my mind. When the sun began to descend and the night rose, I took my purse from the counter and left the cold, empty penthouse. There was no point in being locked away like Rapunzel if your Prince Charming never came to save you. If he didn’t want to spend the night with me, that was fine. I was going home.

  I didn’t leave a note for him. I just left, heading back to my tiny brownstone. Without a trace or a word to anyone, I semi-jogged home with my fingers locked around my pepper spray. It had been a month since I’d walked the streets of New York with the sun down. Drew was in jail—a continent away from me—but the fear that someone was watching my every move still lived deep inside. I should have told Thomas I was leaving, but if Peyton wanted to leave me in the dark it was only fair I showed him the same respect.

  I sprinted down my block and up the steps of my building, my hands shaking as I shoved my key into the keyhole. I slammed the door behind me, my heart racing a mile a minute as I rested my back against the panel. I pressed a hand against my chest, trying to calm my breathing. Gus sat on the couch with his dinner on the coffee table. He eyed me up and down as though I had six heads.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. ” I inhaled deeply. “It’s just the first time I’ve walked home in the dark since . . . you know.” I dropped my keys in the fishbowl and walked further into the room, tossing my purse on the decorative chair before heading for the kitchen.

  His eyes grew wide. “Wait? Did you say you walked?”

  “Yes.” I looked down at my hands; my fingers trembled with fear.

  “Baby girl—”

  “Gus, I’m fine, really. Peyton is working late. I didn’t want to be in the big house alone, and I knew you would be here—so I came to spend the night.”

  A lie was better than the truth.

  The truth was that I had no idea what was becoming of Peyton and me.

  The following morning, I woke with a pounding headache and the loud hammering on my front door didn’t help. I didn’t move from under the covers. The migraine that had lodged itself behind my right eye made it impossible to move. I took my phone from the charger and looked at the screen. I had gone to bed the night before knowing that a migraine was coming, and since I didn’t want to be disturbed, I’d put my cell on silent.

  Six missed calls: Peyton Haas

  Well, I guess he was finally in the mood to talk. The child who lived in me made me turn over on my bed and bury my head under the covers.

  Bang.

  Bang.

  Bang.

  It didn’t stop. I looked at my phone again. It was nearly ten in the morning. My phone lit up in my hand with an incoming text from Gus

  Baby Girl, Peyton called looking for you. Are you okay?

  Oh, now he wanted to look for me. Pissed and with a pounding migraine, I kicked my legs off the bed and marched to the front door. My hands fumbled with the lock as my breathing grew ragged with anger.

  I yanked the front door open. “What do you want?”

  Peyton didn’t respond. Instead he shoved past me, walking straight through the doorway. “Why aren’t you home?” he asked, running his hands through his hair. It was what he did when he was irritated. It was also the first time he had spoken to me since he took me into the playroom. Since he’d come home drunk and fucked me unconscious.

  My hands wiped the morning off my face and I glared at him. “I am home.” I stretched my hands above my head, kicked the front door closed, and walked towards the kitchen.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “No. No, I don’t.” I yanked the cabinet door open, looking for coffee. “Because I was at your house for the last two days, waiting for you. But you avoided me.” My eyes met his and my words wedged painfully in my throat. “Why the hell should I stay there if you only come in after I’m asleep? You’re sleeping in a different bed, and you’re out the door before I’m even up. Clearly you don’t want me there.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair again. Anger flashed through his dark eyes as he began to pace. “It’s complicated,” he grunted.

  “Bullshit!” I slammed the coffee mug on the counter. “You want to act like a child and avoid me? Well, I can do the same. I didn’t tell you about the job because I wasn’t sure if I would even get it, so why have an argument for no reason? Since you walked out of my office you’ve been ignoring me and that’s not fair!”

  “You didn’t call Thomas when you left last night.” He completely ignored what I’d just said.

  “So? Did you call to tell me you were taking a day off work? Did you tell me you weren’t coming home?”

  “You took the job?” He completely ignored my questions again.

  Rage boiled through my blood. “I did. I wanted to talk it over with you. I wanted to sit down like adults and explain to you why I interviewed in the first place. I didn’t want to make a scene at your office like you did. I went home to talk that night after I helped Gus, but you showed up at four in the morning drunk and horny. You shut me out, and I had to make the decision on my own, so I took it.”

  “I didn’t shut you out. It’s complicated.”

  “Seriously, Peyton. It’s complicated? Do you know how worried I’ve been? Everything has crossed my mind, including something bad happening to you. You of all people should know how worried I was.”

  Peyton had found me overdosing on my steps almost a year ago. I had been kidnapped and was missing for a whole week while he searched for me. He knew better than anyone the scenarios that ran through my mind.

  “But every morning you left traces of yourself—enough that I knew you were still alive and avoiding me. You’re a coward. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, if this isn’t what you want, just let me know. If this—” I gestured between us, “—is getting too complicated, just say it and we can go our separate ways.” Anger, hatred, and pain pumped through my body. My voice cracked as I questioned him. My eyes swam with tears.

  His eyes locked on mine and his jaw tightened. He didn’t deny it. He didn’t try to stop me from believing he didn’t want me anymore. His gaze lowered to the ground, his hands lifting to rest behind his neck. “Lynn—”

  “It’s simple, Haas.” I couldn’t say his name. Haas was easy to hate, but Peyton owned my heart. “Did you have your fill? Give me one last good fuck to remember you by and now you want me gone? If so, just say it. Don’t hide behind it. Don’t give me a bullshit answer.”

  “Fine . . .” He looked dead into my eyes. “This isn’t working.”

  Hearing his voice—hearing him actually speak the words—felt like a freight train slamming into my chest. My body pressed against the kitchen counter my hands gripped the edge as I braced myself. My pride wouldn’t let me show him the pain he’d just caused me. His gaze finally left mine and dropped to the floor again.

  “Look, Braelynn—”

  “Don’t.” I held my hand up to stop him. “It is what it is, right? It was fun while it lasted.”

  “Lynn—” He lifted his gaze to me, and pain flashed in his hazel eyes.

  “It’s fine, Peyton. I’m a big girl. I know when I’m not wanted.” I left the kitchen, heading back to the living room. I pulled the front door open and held it, waiting for him to leave. I was forced to watch as the love of my life walked out of my life. Without so much as a simple explanation, as though the past year—and all the hell we went through—meant nothing.

  I stood with my back flush against the door, my eyes glued to the fish bowl,
begging, praying for my tears to hold off. I would not cry in Peyton’s presence. Hell, I knew I would scream from my heart being ripped from my chest, but I wouldn’t do it in front of him.

  He stopped.

  He stood right in front of me. I held my breath, biting down on my tongue so I wouldn’t beg him to stay, but he merely shook his head. His feet shuffled as they led him down my stairs. He was gone. Tears rolled down my cheeks and hit the floor. My eyelids blinked away the blurry vision of Peyton walking out of my life.

  I peeled my body away from the firm support of the door and locked it behind me. The freight train had returned to pummel through my body. The deep pain in my heart stole my breath. When he showed up here, I expected to fight and argue like normal couples do. I wanted to know what was wrong, why he had been so cold, but I didn’t expect him to tell me we weren’t working out. Never did I think I was the one he was done with.

  Stumbling to the couch, I crawled into a ball and began to sob. It was over. Peyton and I were done. And I had no reason why.

  This isn’t working.

  “Baby girl.” Gus walked closer to the couch. “Braelynn, what’s the matter?” I didn’t respond, I just stared at the coffee table imagining what I did wrong. This was all my fault. I pushed the man I loved most away. “Braelynn . . .” Gus pulled me closer to him. “Did you use anything . . . are you high?”

  That’s the kicker when you’re an addict. When you’re out of your element—when you’re in a state of utter shock—the first thing people think is that you’re using again. I wouldn’t. Though, when Gus mentioned it, a need to feel numb enticed me to look at him.

  “No,” I replied. My tears soaked the decorative pillow I rested my head on. “I . . . uh . . . Peyton and I . . .” I sobbed and Gus’s hands wrapped around me to cradle me to his chest.